Random thoughts & musings of a Michigan newlywed... Look out, I'm changing the world!!

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Feeling Naked

Blogging is an intensely personal thing in an incredibly public forum.

I see this as both practice and therapy: practice, because it keeps me writing, and therapy for the obvious venting option. I also like the idea that someday, possibly someone will read what I'm writing and either relate to it or just flat-out like it. When I wrote for Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul, the very best part of it all was being IMed by that eighth-grader who had gotten something from what I'd written. As teensy as that was, I felt validated--like what I had to say mattered.

And yet. Despite the enthusiasm I feel for this forum, I catch myself censoring what I want to say, what I'd like to say, simply for the panic-inducing fact of "what if someone knows it's me?" This has not ever been more obvious to me than it was last night, when my husband told me that he'd told a friend about my blog. I swear I felt my life screech to a halt right then and there.
"You what?"
"I told him..." he sees my indignant look. "Well, what? He thinks it's cool."

Cool indeed. Well, then of course he wanted to know my web address. I didn't tell him; I couldn't bring myself to. It's so darn personal here... and what could make that more obvious than my reluctance to share it with the person I am closest to? I mean, he's my husband... he knows everything. There is nothing I could share here he wouldn't know about. So, I may as well take the plunge and bare my soul to him... since I've decided to share it with the world at large! ; )

So I am posting this, and then I will email him a link because why hide it? So babe, if you're reading... be careful with me, as this makes me incredibly vulnerable to you. Enjoy what you see!


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